Victim Support
Free, nationwide support for people affected by crime, suicide and traumatic events.
We are here for you, 24/7.
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When children and young people of any age or stage face tough life situations they need the loving care and support of those around them, especially when they have been affected by crime, loss and other traumatic events. Knowing they have someone to rely on can make their journey a little less daunting.
It's common to feel uncertain about how to navigate these situations yourself. Find information and resources tailored to specific situations on our Crimes and traumatic events pages, as well as additional support on our Coping with grief and trauma page. This information might help you to learn more about the incident that has occurred or provide help for yourself as a support person.
Remember, you are not alone. There are people who can support you through this. Contact a support professional like a doctor or counsellor, a trusted elder or community leader, close family or whānau, or a Support Worker. If they are old enough, young people may want to do this themselves and it's ok to support them to do that.
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Young people who have been affected by a crime or traumatic event will react in their own individual way and a lot will depend on their age and stage. You might see them doing or saying things that are different from normal or out of character. These are completely normal reactions to a traumatic situation and you'll find their reactions gradually lessen over time.
Be accepting of their reactions and know that it will take time for them to work through what’s happened, especially if they have experienced or witnessed a violent crime or lost someone they care about.
Infants and children may exhibit a variety of physical, emotional, and behavioral signs when under stress.
These signs may include:
Young people and teens may not have the words to express their feelings. When faced with difficult situations, they often cope by keeping themselves distracted.
They may show a range of these physical, emotional and behaviour signs:
The emotional reaction of children and young people will depend on the nature and context of the situation, how they see it, and their personality and life experience.
If you notice any troubling or worrying signs, it is important to talk to a doctor or a mental health professional.
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If the discoverer or witness is a child or young person, they will need ongoing support and extra understanding from caring adults around them. Depending on the severity they may also need help from professionals with trauma support skills regardless if they may or may not have known the person who died.
During an investigation, a police detective may need to ask them what they witnessed. Police have strict procedures for interviewing children so this would only be done with sensitivity and professional support.
This is an overwhelming experience, and it could be a very troubling time for them. They’re likely to have some physical reactions, like feeling sick, headaches, stomach aches, being shaky, bed wetting, or less appetite. Difficult memories could keep coming back. They might find it hard to sleep and could have bad dreams or flashbacks about what they saw.
In a quiet place, gently ask them what happened to them. They may not remember much at first and it may come back to them later. They might not want to talk because they’re in shock or very frightened. Just be with them quietly instead. Let them know you know it was scary for them, and they’re safe now.
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After a crime or traumatic event, it’s important to remember that children and young people might not know how, or even want to talk about it. Just showing you believe them, making them feel safe, and expressing your support and willingness to stand by them can be a guiding light during a tough time.
There are some helpful strategies you can use to support their recovery to make them feel safe, cared for and supported.
You might consider:
Encouraging children and young people to stay connected with trusted family, whānau, and friends, and helping them to find positive activities and interests to focus on can support their recovery.
While they may face some challenges, most importantly, let them know that you love them and support them. When children and young people are given caring support and ongoing safety, they can begin to heal from the effects of crime and traumatic events.
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Bereaved children and young people will need ongoing care, reassurance, and loving support from those around them. It is not unusual for trauma or grief reactions to resurface later. As children and young people grow and develop, they will respond to their loss in news ways. They may ask new questions sometimes, even years after the death.
Reassure children and young people that it’s normal to have strong thoughts and feelings after someone dies. Talk about some helpful ways to manage them, such as taking some slow, deep breaths if they’re getting anxious, crying if they want to, or talking to someone they trust when they’re feeling sad.
It can be incredibly hard to tell such sad news to a child or young person. Being honest with them early on protects them from later hearing the news insensitively or incorrectly from others. What they can understand and the questions they’ll ask will depend on their age and stage of development.
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Child or young witnesses go to court as a witness if the judge or jury needs to hear from them about what happened. They are given special support and protection and there are legal responsibilities to protect their privacy.
Coming face-to-face with the defendant in a courtroom can be a very distressing experience for children and complicated court proceedings can make them feel stressed and anxious. Quite often they may be questioned like adults, leaving them uncertain about what to say and how to say it in this unfamiliar environment.
Court Education for Young Witnesses is a programme offered by Court Victim Advisors to young witnesses in adult courts. It also includes the young person’s caregiver and support people.
The goal is to familarise the court to the young witness and explain court proceedings, seating arrangements, and roles to them. You can even arrange a visit to the courtroom to get familiarised with it in advance.
If you request this program from your Court Victim Advisor, they will contact you approximately 3 weeks before the court case. You can contact the Victim Information Line on 0800 650 654 or make an online enquiry to find out more.
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Young people are at greater risk of experiencing online harassment and bullying. They can also be a victim of online hate crime, cybercrimes such as online scams, sextortion, or have intimate photos of them shared online.
It’s important children and young people have an understanding of the risks of posting private and personal information online. Despite the fact that they deserve to feel safe in online environments, there are some risks associated.
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There are some simple steps you can take to ensure online safety for the children and young people you are supporting.
Open Communication
Reporting Concerns
Parental Controls
Lead by Example
Online Privacy
Online contacts
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It’s important to take good care of yourself - your well-being matters. You may find it helpful to talk to someone supportive too.
It’s not easy watching someone you care about going through a difficult and traumatic experience. Supporting a child or young person through a bereavement can also be incredibly challenging, especially if you’re grieving the loss as well. Sometimes, the things that another person has experienced can start to have a second-hand effect on you also.
To be able to give others good support, you need to prioritise looking after yourself and take some time to yourself when you can.
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Support is here for you when things get tough. You don't have to face it alone. Reach out to these confidential and non-judgmental services to discuss your situation and get the help you need.
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If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, call emergency services on 111.
You may qualify for financial assistance under the Victim Assistance Scheme (VAS) which helps victims of serious crime by contributing to costs related to the crime, the justice process and recovery.
For more information you can contact your Support Worker, call us directly on 0800 842 846 or visit our Financial assistance page.
Visit our Financial assistance page to learn more.
The justice system can be complicated. Court cases can take some time and the experience can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. You don’t have to go through this alone. Your Victim Support Worker can help you throughout the court process, after any sentencing, answer questions you may have, and be there for you if you want someone to talk to and someone to help you cope through the experience.
We can support you with:
You can call us directly 24/7 on 0800 842 846 or visit our ‘How we can help’ page to find out more about who we are, how we can help you, and how to access our support.
If you or others have been injured, see a doctor, go to a hospital emergency department or call an ambulance on 111 regardless of whether you decide to report the incident or not.
A professional medical assessment can help your recovery and ensure physical safety.
Depending on the incident, consider having the doctor prepare a medical report that can be shared with police, if you are comfortable doing that.
After what’s happened the media may want to get comments or interview you, your family, whānau, close friends or any witnesses. Media can sometimes feel demanding and intrusive during stressful times but it’s your decision if you want to speak to them or not and what you feel comfortable sharing.
These situations can seem very unjust and unfair and can cause both grief and trauma. There is an overlap between these two reactions but there are also some differences. Grief is a normal reaction to loss, featuring a range of responses that stem from sadness. Trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormal event, featuring a range of responses that stem from fear and anxiety.
To help them cope through what’s happened, provide a safe and supportive space for children and young people to process their thoughts in their own way and reassure them it’s not their fault.
Family, whānau and friends can suddenly be called on to help someone who is a victim, witness, or has been bereaved by a crime or a traumatic event. Your caring support can help the person feel more able to cope and begin to recover. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do or say and you may be feeling stressed by their situation as well. Being there to listen and taking care of yourself along the way helps.
Any sudden death that is unexpected, violent or suspicious will be investigated by a coroner. Coroners are responsible for determining the details surrounding the death, including how, where, when, and why it occurred. This information is important in listing the cause of death on the official death certificate. It is a complex process that can vary according to the different circumstances of the death but is handled carefully and respectfully by those involved.
For many, a ceremonial blessing of the site where a person has died is an essential part of processing the loss. It is an acknowledgement of the spiritual impact of the tragedy on so many people. It commends the spirit of the person who has died and respects and honours the dignity of the deceased person, their family, whānau, and community.
A blessing usually includes a karakia. For Māori, a it can include a clearing of the tapu on the site. Other cultural and faith groups have their own unique approaches to blessing ceremonies.
Some family or whānau members may choose to visit the scene and be part of a blessing ceremony, and others may not. They may prefer to hold a private blessing or open it to whomever would like to come, including from the community.
If you are an immediate family or whānau member wishing to organise a blessing for the site, you could contact your local marae, church or faith centre, cultural leader, the police officer who has been working with the family or whānau, a Police Iwi Liaison Officer, or speak to a Support Worker.
If you don't personally know the family or whānau but witnessed or discovered the death, you can speak to a Support Worker if you'd like to attend a blessing, provided it is open to the public.
Immediate family or whānau members have the option to request viewing and spending time with the deceased person's body at the mortuary, before any post mortem is conducted.
All viewings must be authorised by the office of the duty coroner, as the body remains the responsibility of the coroner until it is released to the immediate family or whānau.
Some hospitals have a family or whānau room for viewing, usually with a screen or window between them and their loved one. The family won’t be able to touch the body or remove items from the body. Certain hospitals may also have dedicated family or whānau rooms where sitting with the body is permitted until its release.
Unfortunately, there are cases where viewing is not possible, particularly when the person has sustained severe injuries. This will be explained to you if this happens.
If you wish, you can also talk to a funeral director of your choice about any other options there are for sitting with or viewing your loved one’s body after it has been released from the mortuary, or about following any specific cultural traditions you need respected at this time.
If you and your family and whānau decide to view the body at any stage, it can help to know that your loved one’s appearance will have changed, including their facial features and skin colour, which is normal after a death but can understandably be unsettling for some people.
Advice and information is available from Aotearoa New Zealand embassies in the country concerned and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade (MFAT) can help. They can liaise with New Zealand Police and the country the person died in about the local investigation and justice process.
Official processes required in the country the person died in.
Available local burial or cremation options and any requirements that must be met.
Contact details for funeral directors in that country who could manage the funeral or tangihanga.
How you can bring back the person’s body or ashes (repatriation) to Aotearoa New Zealand.
The immediate family or whānau can ask a funeral director in Aotearoa New Zealand about the options they have for arranging for their loved one's body or ashes to be repatriated (brought back to New Zealand).
If you live overseas but the death of someone close to you has happened in Aotearoa New Zealand, the bereaved family or whānau are able to access some assistance here in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Manaaki Tāngata | Victim Support
Call us 24/7 on 0800 842 846 to be connected to a Support Worker for assistance.
The Ministry of Justice's Victims Information Centre
Find information, advice and support. Contact them here.
Support through the criminal justice system
Look in this directory to find a New Zealand lawyer
Some financial support
ACC may accept a claim for accidental death which would provide financial support to cover some costs when the death of a New Zealander has been confirmed by police as murder or manslaughter. If you're overseas contact ACC on +64 7 848 7400
Your chosen funeral director can do as little or as much as you want them to do. Talk with your funeral director about what you would like, including any cultural or religious rituals you want honoured. Ask them about costs and payment options, so you can make choices that are manageable.
collecting the person’s body from the mortuary and caring for them at their funeral home until burial or cremation
providing information about necessary legal requirements after a death
registering the death and helping families get a copy of the death certificate
explaining how you can bring back the person’s body or ashes (repatriation) to Aotearoa New Zealand.
preparing the body for viewing if the family wishes this and it is possible
fulfilling the family’s choices for the funeral, tangihanga (tangi), or memorial event
checking if the person’s legal will requested certain funeral arrangements
organising cremation or burial procedures that meet necessary requirements
helping families apply for financial assistance, if needed
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Free 24/7 helpline, and face-to-face mental health counselling services for young people.
