Victim Support
Free, nationwide support for people affected by crime, suicide and traumatic events.
We are here for you, 24/7.
The tragic death of someone close to us is always distressing, and when it happens unexpectedly or in some cases violently, it can be even more challenging. We might hear the news from others or have witnessed the person’s death ourselves, and the shock can leave us unsure about what we need to do.
Visit our Crimes and traumatic events page for more information and resources to support your circumstances and find practical support here to guide you through the next steps.
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A lot needs to happen within the first few days after a death and many people and agencies become involved. They understand how distressing this time is and will support you through it respectfully and with care.
When someone dies in an accident, ACC can provide a range of financial support to the family or whānau of the deceased. This may include helping to pay for the funeral and providing some ongoing financial assistance.
Detailed information can be found on ACC’s financial support after a death webpage or call them on 0800 101 996 if you need help or have any questions.
Ask your employer about any workplace support available such as bereavement leave, Employee Assistance Programmes (EAP) services for counselling and well-being support, or discretionary leave to help you through the tragedy.
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Sharing the difficult news of a death is challenging and it’s hard to hear. This section offers some suggestions to help you manage the process.
It’s important that family, whānau, and friends close to the person hear the news and details about what is known as soon as possible. This is best coming from someone who can do this in a sensitive way and, if possible, it should be done in person or by phone, rather than by text or an online message.
You might want to tell people yourself, or you could ask a trusted member of the family or whānau, or a friend to help do this. It can be hard to deal with other people's reactions so having support can help.
It's helpful to make a list of the people who need to be informed as soon as possible and others who can be informed at a later date, to discuss with your family or whānau what information should be shared and what should be kept private, and to prepare a few words to say in advance.
Shock can make bad news hard to take in. You may find yourself needing to repeat what you’ve said and people may respond with comments, questions, and a desire for answers. They may also have had a close relationship with the person who has died and are trying to make sense of the situation.
Remember that you are not obligated to provide information or answer questions that you are not comfortable with. It is perfectly acceptable to let people know that you do not wish to discuss certain details or that you need time before sharing more.
Shock can also lead to some individuals feeling unsure about what to say, and they may unintentionally say or do things that are hurtful so having support when you share the news can help.
It can be incredibly hard to tell such sad news to a child or young person. Being honest with them early on protects them from later hearing the news insensitively or incorrectly from others. What they can understand and the questions they’ll ask will depend on their age and stage of development.
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Be careful if you share the news on social media or the internet and you may want to consider taking a break from social media.
People may offer immediate support, such as helping with daily tasks or errands, which can be kind and beneficial. However, it's important to remember that it's okay to feel overwhelmed and to need some personal space during this time. You can accept offers of help if you feel comfortable, but it's also acceptable to politely decline and express your need for space.
To create a sense of privacy and provide yourself with time to process and grieve, consider using a voicemail message or automatic email reply to communicate that you may be unavailable. You can also postpone reading and responding to letters and messages until you're ready.
If needed, ask visitors to keep their visits brief or indicate on your door that you prefer no visitors. You could also ask someone trusted to deal with calls and visitors on your behalf.
By making these choices, you can give yourself space to think and grieve as you cope with the news yourself.
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The loss of any child, at any age, is devastating. It is always a deep tragedy for parents, siblings, family, whānau, friends, and the community.
The pain can feel unfair and be compounded when the loss has been by suicide, or caused by a crime, traumatic event or sudden death.
Sometimes, babies or young children can die suddenly and unexpectedly, and it might be hard to understand why it happened. Investigations can help figure things out, but it doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with. Sadly, some of these cases happen because of accidents or violence. No matter what caused it, people in these situations need caring emotional and practical support.
There are a number of specialized support services to assist you during this difficult time.
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The sudden death of a loved one can be a massive shock, with no chance to prepare or to say goodbye. It’s hard to make sense of death in these circumstances and you may be asking yourself why? and what if? Sudden deaths cut across both grief and trauma, so reactions may be intensified and complex.
If you were directly involved in the incident yourself, or witnessed it, you may have been exposed to additional trauma. You may be grieving the loss of more than one person in the incident, be supporting others who were seriously injured,or you may have been seriously injured yourself.
On top of your grief, you may be dealing with shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, horror and a sense of unfairness. Sudden deaths often involve the loss of a young person, so there can be a sense of unfairness that their life has been cut short. When a child is killed, parents may feel guilt that they were unable to protect their child. Sudden deaths may involve an element of violence – the death may have happened in a violent way or the person killed may have sustained violent injuries.
It’s normal to replay what you imagine the person’s last moments were like and to imagine their injuries. These thoughts and images can be intrusive and you may feel you can’t stop them. Research shows that these imaginings are often worse than the reality.
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Bereaved children and young people will need ongoing attention, care, reassurance, and loving support from those around them. What they can understand and the questions they’ll ask will depend on their age and stage of development. As children and young people grow and develop, they will respond to their loss in news ways. They may ask new questions sometimes, even years after the death.
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Support is here for you when things get tough. You don't have to face it alone. Reach out to these confidential and non-judgmental services to discuss your situation and get the help you need.
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If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, call emergency services on 111.
You may qualify for financial assistance under the Victim Assistance Scheme (VAS) which helps victims of serious crime by contributing to costs related to the crime, the justice process and recovery.
For more information you can contact your Support Worker, call us directly on 0800 842 846 or visit our Financial assistance page.
Visit our Financial assistance page to learn more.
The justice system can be complicated. Court cases can take some time and the experience can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. You don’t have to go through this alone. Your Victim Support Worker can help you throughout the court process, after any sentencing, answer questions you may have, and be there for you if you want someone to talk to and someone to help you cope through the experience.
We can support you with:
You can call us directly 24/7 on 0800 842 846 or visit our ‘How we can help’ page to find out more about who we are, how we can help you, and how to access our support.
If you or others have been injured, see a doctor, go to a hospital emergency department or call an ambulance on 111 regardless of whether you decide to report the incident or not.
A professional medical assessment can help your recovery and ensure physical safety.
Depending on the incident, consider having the doctor prepare a medical report that can be shared with police, if you are comfortable doing that.
After what’s happened the media may want to get comments or interview you, your family, whānau, close friends or any witnesses. Media can sometimes feel demanding and intrusive during stressful times but it’s your decision if you want to speak to them or not and what you feel comfortable sharing.
These situations can seem very unjust and unfair and can cause both grief and trauma. There is an overlap between these two reactions but there are also some differences. Grief is a normal reaction to loss, featuring a range of responses that stem from sadness. Trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormal event, featuring a range of responses that stem from fear and anxiety.
To help them cope through what’s happened, provide a safe and supportive space for children and young people to process their thoughts in their own way and reassure them it’s not their fault.
Family, whānau and friends can suddenly be called on to help someone who is a victim, witness, or has been bereaved by a crime or a traumatic event. Your caring support can help the person feel more able to cope and begin to recover. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do or say and you may be feeling stressed by their situation as well. Being there to listen and taking care of yourself along the way helps.
Any sudden death that is unexpected, violent or suspicious will be investigated by a coroner. Coroners are responsible for determining the details surrounding the death, including how, where, when, and why it occurred. This information is important in listing the cause of death on the official death certificate. It is a complex process that can vary according to the different circumstances of the death but is handled carefully and respectfully by those involved.
For many, a ceremonial blessing of the site where a person has died is an essential part of processing the loss. It is an acknowledgement of the spiritual impact of the tragedy on so many people. It commends the spirit of the person who has died and respects and honours the dignity of the deceased person, their family, whānau, and community.
A blessing usually includes a karakia. For Māori, a it can include a clearing of the tapu on the site. Other cultural and faith groups have their own unique approaches to blessing ceremonies.
Some family or whānau members may choose to visit the scene and be part of a blessing ceremony, and others may not. They may prefer to hold a private blessing or open it to whomever would like to come, including from the community.
If you are an immediate family or whānau member wishing to organise a blessing for the site, you could contact your local marae, church or faith centre, cultural leader, the police officer who has been working with the family or whānau, a Police Iwi Liaison Officer, or speak to a Support Worker.
If you don't personally know the family or whānau but witnessed or discovered the death, you can speak to a Support Worker if you'd like to attend a blessing, provided it is open to the public.
Immediate family or whānau members have the option to request viewing and spending time with the deceased person's body at the mortuary, before any post mortem is conducted.
All viewings must be authorised by the office of the duty coroner, as the body remains the responsibility of the coroner until it is released to the immediate family or whānau.
Some hospitals have a family or whānau room for viewing, usually with a screen or window between them and their loved one. The family won’t be able to touch the body or remove items from the body. Certain hospitals may also have dedicated family or whānau rooms where sitting with the body is permitted until its release.
Unfortunately, there are cases where viewing is not possible, particularly when the person has sustained severe injuries. This will be explained to you if this happens.
If you wish, you can also talk to a funeral director of your choice about any other options there are for sitting with or viewing your loved one’s body after it has been released from the mortuary, or about following any specific cultural traditions you need respected at this time.
If you and your family and whānau decide to view the body at any stage, it can help to know that your loved one’s appearance will have changed, including their facial features and skin colour, which is normal after a death but can understandably be unsettling for some people.
Advice and information is available from Aotearoa New Zealand embassies in the country concerned and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade (MFAT) can help. They can liaise with New Zealand Police and the country the person died in about the local investigation and justice process.
Official processes required in the country the person died in.
Available local burial or cremation options and any requirements that must be met.
Contact details for funeral directors in that country who could manage the funeral or tangihanga.
How you can bring back the person’s body or ashes (repatriation) to Aotearoa New Zealand.
The immediate family or whānau can ask a funeral director in Aotearoa New Zealand about the options they have for arranging for their loved one's body or ashes to be repatriated (brought back to New Zealand).
If you live overseas but the death of someone close to you has happened in Aotearoa New Zealand, the bereaved family or whānau are able to access some assistance here in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Manaaki Tāngata | Victim Support
Call us 24/7 on 0800 842 846 to be connected to a Support Worker for assistance.
The Ministry of Justice's Victims Information Centre
Find information, advice and support. Contact them here.
Support through the criminal justice system
Look in this directory to find a New Zealand lawyer
Some financial support
ACC may accept a claim for accidental death which would provide financial support to cover some costs when the death of a New Zealander has been confirmed by police as murder or manslaughter. If you're overseas contact ACC on +64 7 848 7400
Your chosen funeral director can do as little or as much as you want them to do. Talk with your funeral director about what you would like, including any cultural or religious rituals you want honoured. Ask them about costs and payment options, so you can make choices that are manageable.
collecting the person’s body from the mortuary and caring for them at their funeral home until burial or cremation
providing information about necessary legal requirements after a death
registering the death and helping families get a copy of the death certificate
explaining how you can bring back the person’s body or ashes (repatriation) to Aotearoa New Zealand.
preparing the body for viewing if the family wishes this and it is possible
fulfilling the family’s choices for the funeral, tangihanga (tangi), or memorial event
checking if the person’s legal will requested certain funeral arrangements
organising cremation or burial procedures that meet necessary requirements
helping families apply for financial assistance, if needed
Free 24/7 helpline for counselling support for anyone who is stressed, needs someone to talk to, or is feeling overwhelmed.
Free service that provides support and manaaki to individuals, whānau, and communities who have lost someone to suicide.
Free 24/7 depression helpline and information and resources to help individuals dealing with depression in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Directory of nationwide support providers who can help families and whānau cope with common issues and problems.
Free 24/7 helpline to support the emotional wellbeing of New Zealanders and connect people to support that helps them cope through a difficult situation.
Nationwide directory of GPs, mental health counsellors and services, and information for anyone in need of mental health support.
Helps people who are deaf, hard of hearing, speech-impaired, and deafblind to connect with support services over the phone.
Counselling, resources, and a specialist support library for children, young people, and adults who are experiencing any kind of grief, loss or trauma, including after a homicide or suicide.
A directory of professional counsellors around Aotearoa New Zealand.
Services to support children, youth, adults, families, or whānau experiencing any form of significant loss.
