Victim Support
Free, nationwide support for people affected by crime, suicide and traumatic events.
We are here for you, 24/7.
Our recent research shows that New Zealand has a pervasive victim-blaming culture.
Victim blaming occurs when someone suggests that the person harmed by a crime is somehow responsible for what happened, making victims feel as though they are being treated as if they are guilty.
It is deeply hurtful for victims when those closest to them, such as family and friends, who they expect to support them during difficult times, instead blame them. This blaming often takes the form of indirect comments, like questioning whether the victim could have avoided the situation.
It only takes one person to engage in victim blaming, and anyone can be guilty of it—often without realizing it.
Victim blaming is a way of protecting our belief that the world is a just place where people get what they deserve. By thinking that someone caused their own misfortune, we can protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable by believing that it would never happen to us.
While victims are most often blamed by their own family and friends, they also face blame from strangers on social media.
We need you to stand up and help us change the script on victim blaming.
Tell the victim it’s not their fault. Crime happens because of criminals, not victims. Stand up against victim blaming
Victim blaming happens when someone suggests that the person who was harmed by a crime is somehow responsible for what happened. Victims feel like they’re being treated as if they’re guilty. Mostly victim blaming is indirect comments, questioning whether the victim could have avoided the situation. Examples of these statements are listed below.
" It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have put yourself in this situation.”
"Are you sure that’s what happened? It sounds like you might be exaggerating or misremembering things."
"He’s such a nice guy; I can’t imagine him doing something like that.”
"Are you sure you’re not overreacting to a harmless joke?"
"You should have known better than to walk home alone at night."
"Why don’t you just leave him? If you stay, it can’t be that bad."
Anyone can be guilty of victim blaming—often without realizing it. Victims are most often blamed by their own family and friends, but also by strangers on social media. This can affect anyone, regardless of background, age, gender, or lifestyle. In one year alone, almost one in three New Zealand adults (31%) experience crime, and victim blaming extends across all types of crime. Whether it's a burglary, an online scam, or a personal assault, the response victims receive can add to their trauma.
Victim blaming perpetuates a cycle of silence and suffering, where victims deserve support, not condemnation. When victims are blamed by those closest to them, they lose their usual support networks, leading to prolonged recovery and isolation. Blame can also breed distrust; if the first trusted person they confide in blames them, they may doubt that others, including the justice system, will support them. Most victims reported that their experience of victim blaming would deter them from reporting future crimes. Victims often feel that justice is served only when they are believed. Even years later, victims may have recovered from the crime, but the lasting impact of 'blame shame' can persist, even if the offender has been found guilty and imprisoned.
The first person a victim confides in, and how they respond, can determine whether the victim feels safe to report the crime and seek help, or whether they suffer in silence for fear of being blamed again. Saying "It’s not your fault" can be the first step in a victim's recovery. Take the time to reflect on how you might respond to someone who confides in you; it may be the only time the victim reaches out. Your words have power, and what you say matters a lot. A thoughtless response can hurt even more: if the first person a victim reaches out to doubts or blames them, it can exacerbate the victim's pain and prevent them from seeking further help or reporting the crime. Conversely, a thoughtful response can make all the difference: if a victim is believed and supported right away, it can be a crucial step in their recovery and help them feel confident to seek justice.
To learn more about victim blaming in New Zealand and its impact on crime victims, read our detailed short report. This report presents key findings from our research and highlights the critical need for change in how we support and understand victims.
Free, nationwide support for people affected by crime, suicide and traumatic events. We're here for you 24/7
